Anticipation, angst rise as musical curtain time draws near

Image
  • Emma Bullerman
    Emma Bullerman
Body

As opening night of the musical draws closer and closer my excitement continues to grow. But, of course, my anxiety is starting to grow as well.
This happened with Newsies too. We were a couple weeks out from having our first audience, and everything felt like a mess. People were dropping lines, set pieces weren’t getting put on stage in time, dance numbers looked less than impressive, etc, etc. But, somehow, everything came together for those three days of performing.
I’ve had a lot of people asking me if this is how it always is, and my response is always yes. I feel that there is a lot of stress coming from those participating in the musical right now, and I want to assure them this production is going to be amazing, but there is still a little voice in the back of my head that’s worried everything will fall apart and this will be the end of the long reign of Aurora’s musical prowess.
Of course, I know that isn’t true. This musical is going to be one of the best yet, and it showcases so much new talent that the community hasn’t seen. This musical has been my biggest source of joy and inspiration for these past few months, and I cannot wait to share it with everyone.
I have never been so impressed by a group of people. From the leads stepping up and letting go of their comfort zones, to the ensemble members helping each other clean and learn choreography, to the craziness that happens backstage with Mrs. Wiarda, every person involved with this production has poured their heart and soul into it.
This time of the musical process is always hard. We performers get to see all of our hard work start to pay off as the show comes together, and begin to simply let go and have fun with our roles. What this also means, though, is that it’s coming to an end.
Through the process of creating an entire show from start to finish, everyone involved becomes incredibly close to each other. This work can be hard, grueling even, so forming relationships with fellow cast members and crew is so vital for working through the rough patches. In the end, we end up with friendships we never knew we needed, and bonds that are closer than words can describe.
Coming to the end of this all is so hard. My peers and I have given so much time, energy, and love to this show, so when that curtain closes on the final night, it’s really hard to let go. This sounds really sad, but when a show like this closes, for me personally, there’s a sense of emptiness that lingers for a long time after. 
I try not to be so future-oriented when it comes to big life events like this, but I can’t help but remind myself that this is the last time I will get to be on this stage, with these people, in this show. What this kind of thinking provides me with, though, is the motivation to make this the best performance I can possibly give to everyone watching. 
In a way, Ariel has been a really comforting and healing character to play. This feels so incredibly full circle considering that one of my favorite movies to watch as a little girl was The Little Mermaid. I was in awe of this young woman full of curiosity, strength and sass that was swimming around on the screen in front of me, and I wanted nothing more than to be in her world -- and now, I am. 
It is so important to me that I give Ariel a personality, a story. I don’t want to simply be the Ariel that everyone knows and loves, I want to be the Ariel that inspires, that makes people laugh, that makes people cry. I want little kids to see that it’s okay to be curious, to explore and to fight for what they know is best for them.
All of this to say, I am very proud of this show. While there is still work to be done, I have no doubt that this will be one of the most amazing productions of this story that’s ever been done in a high school setting. I cannot wait for that curtain to open on our first night, and I know that, until it closes on that last night, that stage and the people on it will be giving every ounce of energy, talent, and joy that they have to these performances.
EMMA BULLERMAN is a senior at Aurora High School and is a guest columnist.