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Butch Furse
It’s time to come up with New Year resolutions. Frankly, it appears the majority of us don’t stick with new resolutions long enough to improve our lifestyle. Such has been our practice the past years and we just kept plugging along with lots of our same old unchanged habits.
One procrastinator said it best when he commented, “The future isn’t what it used to be.” And another added, “The more unpredictable the world becomes, the more we rely on predictions.” We’re going to rely on those statements and not bore you with our unsuccessful New Year Resolutions. Instead, we hope to bring a few smiles with the following observations to today’s world.
Two workers were discussing the financial condition of the country. They didn’t agree.
“You’re all wrong,” one said. “There is no money shortage. I asked my banker is he out of money and he took me to the vault and showed me piles of money. And I said could he let me have a little and he answered he sure could, asking if I had any collateral? I didn’t . . . and told him that’s the matter with this country. There’s plenty of money, but the country is running out of collateral!
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Here’s the evolution of a man’s ambition: To be a circus clown . . . To be like dad . . . To be a fireman . . . To make All-State . . . To do something noble . . . To get wealthy . . . To make ends meet . . . To get the old-age pension.
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Professor: “This exam will be conducted on the honor system. Please take seats three seats apart and in alternate rows.”
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Joe: You look down-hearted, old man. What are you worried about?”
Bill: “My future.”
Joe: “What makes your future seem so hopeless?
Bill: “My past.”
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Only Americans have mastered the art of being prosperous though broke. The paramount question before the country today is, “How much is the down payment?” And this comment from the world’s greatest humorist was the man who called “installments” “easy payments.”
Happy New Year!
RL Furse is publisher emeritus of the News-Register
