Dust in the wind for British monarchs

From princes to paupers, rich to poor, as the old platitude says: everyone is destined to face two things in life. Death and taxes. As you may have gleaned from the title, we’ll be discussing the former. More precisely, the last words of a few past English monarchs.
While I’ve always had a bit of a soft spot for goths and gothic culture, this commentary is not meant to be macabre. Unofficial Royal Correspondents for Hamilton County must never be macabre! We can leave that to Vincent Price, Lon Chaney Jr and Count Chocula.  
Following are three of the more memorable examples from my source, an article by Chris Raymond, “Famous Last Words of Kings, Queens, Rulers and Royalty.”  Some google searching contradicts Mr. Raymond but for purposes of this commentary he is the authority. Also, his examples ring true more than some of the polished last words that are elsewhere quoted. You can’t convince me a few nobles final utterings weren’t at times changed by a close associate to echo more eloquently through the annals of history.
Edward VIII. Edward was the King who grudgingly abdicated in order to marry an American divorcee, Wallis Simpson. As a consequence, he was shunned by the Royals.  
Shunned to the point that even his title is considered sullied, never to be bestowed upon anyone ever again. Too bad, as “Duke of Windsor” is quite catchy.
We may find it hard to pity the Duke. He never had to find work in a coal mine and lived quite comfortably as the Governor of the Bahamas. Nice work if you can get it. His love for Wallis, which came at such a high cost to him, seemed never to waiver. Alas, as time went on, Wallis’s love for him withered. In the winter of their lives, Wallis hardly spent any time at all with her husband, even when it was obvious the grim reaper was sharpening a scythe with his name on it. She was not there when he uttered his final words “Mama…..mama…..mama”.  How maudlin!  
Henry VIII. Like Edward, Henry also uttered the same word thrice on his deathbed. The man who loved to wed, bed and behead. A whopping one-third of his wives got the chop. This famous hothead also broke away from Rome and created himself Head of the Church of England. It wasn’t religious fervor, just his plan to find a way around a pope. A pope who wouldn’t condone him divorcing Catherine of Aragon. Once he divorced Catherine he went on to marry Anne Boleyn, who surely would have preferred a divorce over the way Henry disposed of her.
History tells us Henry VIII wasn’t always the irascible tyrant we conjure up when seeing his famous painting. Feathered cap, ringed fingers, gartered calves, blushingly large codpiece and a belly to rival Father Christmas. He was once a tall and handsome youth who kept fit by hunting,  jousting, wrestling and was a mostly a “hail fellow well met” type. It is said the dark turn in his character may have been the result of having his clock cleaned in a jousting tournament. 
After a reign immortalized by many things, including unfettered gluttony, pillaging England’s convents and monasteries, and telling the pope where to stick it, at deaths door Henry must have had his old Catholic faith in mind. For good intent or not, his last words were “Monks, monks,monks!” Either he was recalling how annoying he found them or he wished there were a few of those chaps around as he took his last breath. The world will never know.
Elizabeth I. Daughter of Henry VIII and last of the Tudor line.  Elizabeth was known as the Virgin Queen, married only to her beloved Kingdom of England. I guess sometimes the apple does fall far from the tree!
One beauty standard of the Elizabethan age was pale skin. There was no such thing as too pasty. So Elizabeth, being vain and striving to live up to her reputation as a great beauty, began to use “Venetian Ceruse” a white skin cream containing lead that gave her the desired look of living death.  To make matters worse, her rouge and lipstick contained  poisonous mercury.  
They say beauty is suffering, and it certainly was for Elizabeth. Once she began applying the caustic concoctions daily, it inevitably marred her complexion further, so more had to be used until her lady in waiting was practically applying it with a trough. Aging was difficult to handle for the Queen. Luckily, sycophants are always around, willing to lie and  make a Royal delusional. They praised her beauty even when her teeth rotted and she was  more gargoyle than “Gloriana.”
As she fought aging, she fought death. In the end she was afraid to lie down for fear of dying and stood for 15 hours straight. Finally she was coaxed to her bed. “All my possessions for a moment of time” were the last words of Queen Elizabeth I in 1603. 
The band Kansas took a page from Elizabeth’s book 375 years later. In their 1978 hit song Dust in the Wind they lament, “all your money won’t another minute buy.”  
Thoughts of our own death have occurred to all of us. To quote Shakespeare “to die, to sleep; to sleep, perchance to dream -- ay, there’s the rub: for in that sleep of death what dreams may come.” However, the Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 15:54-55 “When the perishable has been clothed with the imperishable, and the mortal with immortality, then the saying is written will come true: “Death has been swallowed up in victory.” “Where, O death, is your victory?”
DIANA RODRIGUEZ can be reached at newspaper@ hamilton.net