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Butch Furse
We came across a booklet called Home Town Tales that was written by Joseph C. Alden in 1935. Alden was a home town boy who eventually took the reins of the Aurora Republican-Register. In his booklet he recalled a variety of subjects, which included his report on “Symptoms of Inventive Greatness.”
The subject was W. P Hellings who invented the mustache guard for mustache cups. The metal guard was designed to prevent the drooping ends of a mustache out of the soup or coffee, thus saving the owner from embarrassment of using a napkin. The guard was reportedly hailed in Aurora with great salvos of approval, especially from those disciples of facial adornment who preferred the drooping to the waxed ends of mustaches.
Unfortunately about the same time men began to yield to the new Parisian fashion of having the mustached come off and the tide continued to turn. Inventor Hellings discovered too late that his great invention came a quarter of a century too late.
Alas, it was reported the mustache guard was not the only invention of “this versatile Aurora man.” He also invented a screen cloth for doors and windows. He had observed that flies always walked upward on a perpendicular surface. So he devised a screen surface that had barriers of elevated screen across it at frequent intervals. These were attached to the inside of the screen. At the top of the screen he cut holes in such a way that a fly, pursuing his natural habit of walking upward, suddenly found himself outside the house.
Hellings contracted for miles of this wire which were never sold. The writer Alden couldn’t recall whether the flies reversed their walking habits or his new-fangled screen was just too costly.
The writer concluded his Aurora inventors’ report by briefly noting L.W. Hastings invented a self-stoking heating plant in his house and a newspaper folding machine for his newspaper.
Alden wanted to go on record, “That when it comes to the mothering of invention, Aurora need not hang her head in humiliation. On the contrary she has reason throw out her chest a little.”
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Instruments have been invented that will throw a speaker’s voice more than a mile. Now we need an instrument that will throw some speakers the same distance.
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RL Furse is publisher emeritus of the News-Register
