Virus destroys thoughts of dreamlike isolation

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Back in our busy business world times we would day-dream how we’d like to get away from the fast-paced hubbub and find a quiet place to hide. Our thoughts would drift about heading to the wide-open spaces of Wyoming or Montana.
There, we would find an area with lots of uninhabited space and where we could see for miles in all directions. We wouldn’t care about mountains – just the wide-open spaces where we could sit on the front porch, or back porch and enjoy the solitude. Nothing would interrupt us. Few people would be around. No phone calls. No commitments or meetings to go to. Simply put, it was an obligation-free lifestyle. Sounds great doesn’t it?
For years this dream was a goal. Well, now it just doesn’t look so enticing. The coronavirus pandemic put an end to our many years of those isolationist thoughts. After over a month of avoiding crowds; not traveling anywhere; watching too much TV; no morning coffee groups; and just staying home; we have found we’re stir crazy and suffering “cabin fever.”
It’s time for a laugh and these observations came from a friend’s California cousin:
“This virus has done what no woman had been able to do . . . cancel all sports, shut down all bars, and keep men at home!
 Does anyone know if we can take showers yet, or should we just keep washing our hands?
 I never thought the comment, ‘I wouldn’t touch him/her with a six foot pole’ would become a national policy, but here we are!
Quarantine has turned us into dogs. We roam the house all day looking for food. We are told ‘no’ if we get too close to strangers. And we really get excited about car rides.
 When asked ‘What’s this weather this weekend?’ It doesn’t really matter, you’re not going anywhere.
Do not call the police on suspicious people in your neighborhood. Those are your neighbors without makeup and hair extensions.
Day 14 at home and the dog is looking at me like ‘See? This is why I chew the furniture!’
When this over . . . what meeting do I first attend . . . Weight Watchers or AA?”
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 In the current environment it’s tough to get a laugh. Hope at least it brought least a smile. Stay healthy!
RL Furse  is publisher emeritus of the News-Register

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