Santa Dave’s Christmas

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You better watch out. You better not cry.
You better not pout. I’m telling you why.
Yep, I’ve made my list and I’m checking it twice. It’s that time once again to fire up my Santa sleigh, with Rudolph at the lead, to deliver those extra special gifts to all of the boys and girls who have been either extra naughty, or extra nice:
To Tom Brady, a case and a half of Ben Gay. And a couple decent wide receivers.
To the Kansas City Royals, better pitching and hitting. And better defense.
To Adrian Martinez, a return to good health and a return to form on Sept. 5.
To Lincoln Riley, a new home in Dallas, Texas.
To Baylor Scheierman, transfer papers to Lincoln.
To Gavin Rush, a healthy 2020 football season.
To Fred Hoiberg, a big man who can take up space in the middle.
To Bill Moos, a College Director’s Cup championship in the not too distant future.
To JD Spielman, a record-breaking senior season.
To Amy Williams, a reserved spot in this year’s Sweet 16.
To Greg McDermott, ditto.
To Stanley Morgan, a NFL touchdown reception.
To our sports guy Richard Rhoden, one more season howling with the OHP Stormdogs.
To Frank Solich, a Potato Bowl win over Nevada...and a lifetime supply of French fries.
To Baltimore’s Lamar Jackson, a NFL MVP trophy.
To Nebraska’s Lamar Jackson, a third round draft pick.
To the Dallas Cowboys, a special ‘Underachiever of the Year’ team award.
To Tom Izzo, valium.
To Jim Harbaugh, blue jeans.
To John Cook, a short bus trip with his team up I-80 next December.
To Tom Osborne, good health.
To Scott Frost, a healthy place kicker.
To Austin Allen, more passes thrown his way, especially in the red zone.
To Cam Jurgens and Chris Hickman, 30 more pounds of pure muscle.
To Cam Mack, a Big Ten newcomer of the year award.
To Urban Meyer, a large lump of coal.
To Capri Davis, a burnt orange hoodie.
To Joe Burrow and Drew Brees, some good cajun cooking.
To Husker football fans, lower ticket prices.
To Will Bolt, unseasonably warm March weather in Lincoln.
To Lexi Sun, Jazz Sweet, Haley Densberger and Lauren Stivrins, senior seasons to remember.
To Luke McCaffery, a redshirt freshman season to remember.
To Darrion Daniels, a monthly gift subscription to Omaha Steaks.
To the Los Angeles Lakers and the Milwaukee Bucks, an epic 7-game series in June.
To Zac Taylor, a second win.
To Lane Kiffin, revenge served cold in Tuscaloosa.
To Ed Orgeron, a better voice.
To Brett Maher, a new team.
To Lovie Smith, a new first name.
To Jason Garrett, the phone number for Two Men and a Truck.
To Chase Young, an honest agent and the name of a good investment broker.
To wife Cindy, a trip to Dublin, Ireland in late August 2021.
And finally...
To P.J. Fleck, a slow leak in his boat.
And to all, a good night!
DAVE BRADLEY can be reached at advertising@hamilton.net.

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