Racing to keep up with the times can be futile

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In this old world it’s hard to keep up with the changes. That was evident the other day when visiting a community it was announced there would be a 5K race held on a Saturday. However, I was somewhat confused when it was also announced there would also be a $35 entry fee for each participant.
Details of the 5K race continued and I was not sure if I had correctly interpreted the “5K” description.
Being from the old school I always thought a K, or kilometer was 5/8 of a mile. If my old math serves me correctly a “5K” race should be 3 and 1/8th miles. More details of the race continued to follow the announcement and my confusion became more complex. In addition to the steep entry fee, it was noted the race would begin and end at the home of the race’s sponsor, which was a local brewery. My confusion deepened.
Did the “K” in the 5K race represent kilometers or kegs of beer?  Whatever the case, I was unable to stick around on the race date to find out. I am sure if “K” represented kegs it would certainly be entertaining to see the condition of the participants finishing the event.
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Another change was highlighted in my conversation with a member of the younger generation. The grade schooler in our conversation told me it was time for us to, “Stop and smell the lilacs.” Hmmm . . . I always thought the old cliché was to, “Stop and smell the roses.”
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Still another setback came when mentioning to a young’un that TYPEWRITER is the longest word than can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard. The youngster looked puzzled an asked, “What’s a typewriter?”
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But, if you want to impress someone with your intellect, here’s some info you can pass on:
If you are an average American, in your whole life you will spend an average of six months waiting at red lights.
Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.
The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar in his pocket melted.
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There’s nothing like a clear conscience to give one real peace of mind, but a poor memory also helps.

RL Furse  is publisher emeritus of the News-Register

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