Many unanswered questions remain as we enter 2018

Well, a new year is about to begin. We know only a few people think many of their questions have been answered in 2017 which means a lot of questions still remain unanswered with the hope to be answered in 2018. Following are some questions we have put on our list.
Do bleached blondes just pretend to have more fun?
Is there a denture fairy who leaves slugs instead of real money?
Was the pole vault accidentally discovered by a lousy javelin thrower?
Instead of having to lick your finger every time you turn a page, why not just dunk one corner of the book in a bowl of water?
Why don’t masked robbers hold up ski lodges?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
Whose stupid idea was it to have an ‘s’ in the word ‘lisp’?
Did the early settlers ever go on camping trips?
Could it be that boulders are just statues of really big rocks?
Do police sketch artists start out as the guy who outlines dead bodies?
Is it true the most successful business manager is one who holds onto the old as long as it’s good and grabs the new as soon as it is better?
Traffic has certainly picked up at the junction of Highways 14 and 34 over the years with much of that traffic being stimulated by the location of both Casey’s and McDonald’s. As a customer at both businesses I have observed many entertaining incidents.
Regular customers have found a pretty sharp neighborhood cat that has learned if he hangs outside the entrance of either business he (or she) is going to enjoy a near-full belly. Especially if he (or she) looks in the window or hangs out near the entrance of those businesses. There’s a pretty good supply of frequent snacks coming his way from the customers as they come and go.
I don’t know how long this can continue. The cat presently has a touchy routine of dodging traffic when he ventures across Highway 34 between the two businesses. However, he has also found a “safety route” via a drainage tube that passes under Highway 14 just south of the intersection. Still, he may have increased his life expectancy up to 50 percent by sometime traveling “the subway” (AKA the drainage tub under 14) to Casey’s.”
Our hearts are with him, (or her).
Speaking of hearts, the Betterhalf and I wish you a “Happy New Year!”
RL Furse  is publisher emeritus of the News-Register

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