Two closet halves are never equal between husband, wife

Does “the man of the house” have too much . . . or not enough closet space in his home?
That debate between husband and wife has gone on for years in our own household and I am sure in most homes the same scene has been repeated. To those engaged in the dilemma it will come as no surprise which spouse wins the one-sided debate.
In our household with four full-sized (and full) closets plus two coat closets near our front and back doors, there is more than ample evidence the Betterhalf is the dominant head of our house. Her clothing occupies 60 percent of our joint bedroom closet; all of a guest bedroom closet; and 50 percent of my basement office closet. I should also add my “half” of the basement office closet space is confined to four shirts, two jackets, office supplies and household records.
My personal closet plight appears to be a familiar problem. In the gathering of an early morning coffee group, a member mentioned bathroom remodeling was about to take place in his home. His spouse’s plans called for expanding the bathroom by moving a wall out an additional one foot. The plan called for gaining that one foot by squeezing his closet’s wall in the adjacent room by one foot.
He voiced an objection to his wife’s plan and she suggested he get rid of some of his clothes. Foolishly he pointed out she should devoid herself of some her clothes that already occupied two of the home’s closets.
As his story continued the members of the coffee group all recognized a futile statement had been made and what the outcome would be. Simply, the Hospital Thrift Shop should prepare for the arrival of a couple boxes of men’s clothing.
Our conclusion naturally came as no surprise to my Betterhalf after I made this closet report. She shrugged her shoulders, continued working and said, “You guys are always going to lose -- it’s just a fact of life.”
 ***
An old-timer was reminiscing about summer beach scenes and told me times have certainly changed. “What used to be called the strapless swimming suit has developed into what might be called the suitless swimming straps,” he said.
RL Furse  is publisher emeritus of the News-Register

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