Murphy’s Modern Day Laws apply to us all

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It becomes downright silly what a guy thinks about when it’s time to face the deadline of writing a column.
I’m sure some of you would rather I just forget column writing and have the newspaper fill the space with something else. Well, I’m not going to let you off the hook that easy. When the pressure is on, some topic will emerge. This time it happened to be Murphy’s Laws. However, it’s time to now title them “Modern Day Murphy’s Laws, so here goes those modern day squibs.
We are told:
* It’s impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious.
* The chance of the toast falling butter side down is directly proportionate to the cost of the carpet.
* In order to get a bank loan you need to prove you don’t really need it.
* A Smith & Wesson revolver always beats four aces.
* Anything that’s dropped in the bathroom will always fall in the toilet.
* The best golf shots always happen when playing alone.
* Being dead right won’t make you any less dead.
* The probability of being observed is in direct proportion to the stupidity of your actions.
* Those who know the least usually know it the loudest.
* A pat on the back is only a few inches away from a kick in the pants.
* A work law: “No one gets sick on Wednesday.”
* If it wasn’t for the last minute nothing would ever get done.
And for those who are or have been in the military, here are a few more laws:
* There is no such thing as an atheist in a foxhole
* If the enemy is in range, so are you.
* It is physically impossible to carry too much ammo.
That’s enough for this week.
RL Furse  is publisher emeritus of the News-Register

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