‘Smart’ technology too much in the bathroom

Sometimes I get the feeling this old world is determined to pass me by. Now I’m not talking about personal values and moral issues. I’m talking about those physical things that surround me in my effort to stay in tune with what’s going on today, but will change tomorrow.
It’s no secret that technology is my culprit and my nemesis. Over the years I’ve fallen behind to a bevy of changes and then seem to catch up only to find I am behind again. Slow reflexes could be the cause. However, the betterhalf has attributed my dilemma to my own stubbornness and resistance to something new.
I’m continuing to use my own laptop and its old software. I can say I’m comfortable with my computer because the machine matches my speed, which is now slow. I still like my electric razor with a cord instead of one with a battery because the battery was always dead when I wanted to shave. There’s no Kindle for me when it comes to reading a book and the only time I read a newspaper online is when I’m far away from home and the betterhalf canbring it up on her newer computer. Naturally she says my computer is too slow.
This past week after reading the newspaper it had become evident I am a lone island in a “Smart World.” Everything now seems to be tagged with the word, “smart.” Smart phones, smart kitchen appliances, smart TVs, smart car accessories and smart security systems could be found advertised on nearly every newspaper page. Still one new innovative “smart” product item caught my eye – a smart toilet.
Our home is approximately 50 years old and I was considering updating our plumbing fixtures with new water-conserving stools. As I read the details about the newest smart toilet, I found out water conservation was the norm and not the newest of the new in this modern world that surrounds me.
This newest advertised smart toilet at $4,200 is not the most expensive on the market. One “higher end” model goes for more than $6,000. Now what would I get for a $4,200 smart porcelain throne?
The smart toilet known as AT200 features hands-free flushing, an automated lid that opens and closes, a seat warmer and an adjustable two-nozzle spray system for front and rear cleansing with an integrated air dryer. Want more? There is also a night light feature. And for those who prefer communication in the bathroom it was also reported a $6,000 model has Bluetooth.
After reading all the features, I must still be from the old school. I’ve seldom bought a product with all the bells and whistles, so if our baths are going to be modernized it would because of environmental friendliness and not because of a smart stool’s sleek and modern looks. Thank goodness, the betterhalf and I grew up in at the tail end of the era when outhouses were common, so we are quite content with just having indoor plumbing.
RL Furse  is publisher emeritus of the News-Register

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