by R.L. Furse
My ‘good guy’ routine turned upside down PDF E-mail

Some days good things go bad, no matter how hard you try. That was the case this past week when I tried to continue with my good guy routine that has earned quite a string of daily praises from the betterhalf. However, just when I began to pat myself on the back, I find things can take a quick turnaround.

In our household I am what you call an “early riser” and the betterhalf follows a little later -- not a lot later, but just a little. I don’t drink coffee, but the betterhalf does. In fact, her early morning first effort is heading to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee.

In my effort to be a good hubby over the past years, I have become the guy who puts the coffee on. Notice I said, “Puts the coffee on” -- not make it? “Putting it on” in my viewpoint is turning on the automatic coffee maker that has the night before been filled with water; or using the other appliance that requires you to pour the water in the reservoir and then the percolating automatically begins. Actually, it seems like a foolproof job, even for me. Each time I perform that duty the betterhalf later offers her thanks for my early morning chore and I think what a nice guy I am. But, as we know, sometime good things must end. My good deed ended abruptly this past week.

In my haste, after pouring the water into the coffee maker reservoir, I forgot to put the pot under the spigot correctly. As the betterhalf shuffled to the kitchen for her early morning brew she stepped into a little moisture on the floor. Now I really don’t know how much moisture was on the floor, but I would guess it must have been a pot full. When I came back into the house a few minutes later, the betterhalf had finished cleaning up the mess on the floor and was trying to wipe down a cabinet and a puddle that accumulated under the stove.

Well, there was no “thank you” that morning or a pat on the back. I guess a guy was just lucky he didn’t get a kick in the “lower back.” Thankfully, the betterhalf also had a short memory, because I’m back at my early morning duty of making coffee and have been given that second chance.
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Several times I have caught myself condemning someone who was being occupied by a smartphone while his child gets a hit at his ballgame, or missed a “first-time moment” from his youngster because he thought that smartphone info was more important. You want to be careful about criticism. Times may have changed, but sometimes priorities can still remain the same.

A few weeks ago I caught myself being occupied reading the morning newspaper when a young house guest of ours caught her first fish. A newspaper or smartphone? Both have the capacity to take some precious moments away from us.

I admit it, I contribute to craziness in world PDF E-mail

This is a crazy world and I’ve come to the conclusion I’m part of the craziness. While up at a Minnesota lake cabin, and having some idle time, I caught myself clocking how far a snapping turtle can travel in a six minute span. Doing such an act means a guy must really, really have some idle time and the turtle must have known this observer was nuts.

Without further comment, I will inform you the turtle was on a mission to lay her eggs and she covered 105 feet in the six minute trek. I should also add that while Prince William and Kate are new parents, the turtle has some time before parenthood and won’t even be present for the births. Turtle eggs hatch in a time span of nine to 18 weeks and the little guys will be alone on their march back to their palace in the lake.

I was debating whether to make my craziness public but, after reviewing a recent national newspaper, I felt better because I am in the company of a lot of crazy people. In the newspaper were editorials covering immigration reform and the potential crumbling of  the Obamacare coalition. However, right next to that page was a lengthy story detailing the skills needed to win the International Cherry-Pit Spitting Contest in Michigan. I will spare you those details, but will point out one contestant practiced daily spitting cherry pits and wind is a factor in the contest.

Over the years much has been said about studies. You may want to know (or don’t want to know) about joint government-private sponsored science research at universities and other individual research  projects.

This science research covers such subjects titled “Why dogs become man’s best friends; why some teams always seem to dominate the NCAA basketball tournament and skills needed to ride a bike. My favorite research, backed by some government funding, is the usefulness and safety of alternative and complementary medicine interventions. I like the response of one rational doctor when informed of that research who concluded: “There’s no such thing as alternative medicines -- there’s only medicines that work and medicines that don’t.”

In concluding, I should point out there might be a study people who live in messy houses would cheer. It’s a known fact dust mites cause hay fever-like symptoms that can trigger asthma attacks. A recent study showed these dust mites are less able to survive in messy, unmade beds because conditions were too warm and dry for them.
*  *  *

I overheard a lady chatting with her friend. She said: “I don’t mind men who kiss and tell. At my age I need all the advertising I can get.”

Life's expensive enough without smoking PDF E-mail

The campaign against smoking has been going on for years. I don’t know really how successful that campaign has been, but I must give credit to those who are against smoking for their persistence. A news note 100 years ago reported:

“Instances of the cigarette evil continue to accentuate the importance of the crusade which is now in progress. From East St. Louis comes the account of a young man of 23 who has just become insane after 11 years of smoking cigarettes.”

Now I don’t know how many people since that time have become insane from smoking. I can, however, vouch  to witnessing smokers coming close to going insane because they didn’t have a cigarette.

As a good dad and granddad, I should say over the years I do recognize a smoking habit is not an easy one to dump. I’ve cited health statistics, quoted insurance rates, pointed out a heavy smoker can spend enough on cigs in one month to make a car payment and I even offered bribes. My lectures have only worked twice. My son quit the smokes at least six times, but still continues puffing. A couple of grandsons smoke on a “limited basis” governed by their own economics.

One of my two success stories comes from the betterhalf who once smoked only on social occasions and still insists she quit ‘cause she wanted to and not from my constant lecture of sticking around long enough to see her grandsons graduate from school. Just where is my second success story?

That success story came from yours truly. My smoking story seemed to revolve around a guy who, with just a few months of a college education, was bent on trying to create a macho image. At that time I never considered smoking held the potential to be a life-long habit

Cigarettes were my choice, but they required the expense of a Zippo lighter, or at least a book of matches ...and smokers constantly wanted to mooch a cigarette. Soon I realized this smoking deal could get expensive. If I remember correctly cigs cost around 20 cents a pack.

The money factor played a role in the change of my smoking effort. I was then convinced smoking a pipe was the most affordable way to go. After all, the commercials always showed this cool character walking around with a pipe between his teeth while the girls would smile and remark of the good fragrance of his tobacco. There was no mention in those commercials of a pipe stem creating a sore tongue, a leaky tobacco pouch, or a few burn holes sprinkled down the front of your favorite shirt because of pipe ashes cascading from the pipe bowl.

By the time I got around to trying cigars I found they were unacceptable in most circles because of strong, stinky odor. People actually had the nerve to tell you “no smoking” in their house, or business.

Finally, after a few months, the old light bulb went off. My early college education came through. I asked, “Self, why not just quit smoking?”  So I did -- cold turkey. Unfortunately my monthly college budget during those years still came up short. And, even today, life is expensive without smoking.

Government growing by leaps and bounds PDF E-mail

It’s been said Americans have increasingly become more dependent on Washington to get things done. That may have been the case several years ago but, judging from what has been going on with “political cooperation” in both the U.S. Senate and Congress the past few years, not much seems to be getting done.

Well, that isn’t exactly the case. Despite not getting things done, government continues to grow. If you have any doubts about our regulatory state, the official directory of regulation -- the 2012 Federal Register -- today has 78,961 pages. Those of you who have the 1986 copy will find that Register was comprised of 44,812 pages and in 1936 it contained just 2,620 pages. If you still question government isn’t growing, a news story in the Wall Street Journal reported since 1993, 81,883 new rules have been issued and in the past 10 years the “final rules” issued by our 63 federal departments, agencies and commissions have outnumbered laws passed by Congress 323 to 1.

It’s no wonder why the economy isn’t growing. Throughout the nation we’re all too busy trying to abide by the continual wave of new federal regulations instead of our own business and economic development.
*  *  *

Recently two women were overheard discussing life. One had four beautiful children, the other had none. The latter gazed wistfully at the sky and said, “I’d  give 10 years of my life to have such children as yours.”

“Well,” said the other woman gravely, “four children cost just about that!”
*  *  *

Remember when folks used to worry that they couldn’t take it with them? With today’s tax situation, now their only worry is whether it will last as long as they do.
*  *  *

Several years ago Lt. Gen. Helmick, deputy commander of the U.S. forces in Iraq made this comment: “We gave 28 million Iraqis the greatest gift anyone can give and that is their freedom. It is now up to the Iraqis to capitalize on that gift.”

A report this past week stated over 1,000 Iraqis had died in the past month from suicide bombings and other violence. Apparently our gift of freedom had little value to that nation. As our forces prepare to leave Afghanistan I assume our “gift” will eventually have a like response.
*  *  *

I smiled a few weeks ago when I read in the News-Register how Lyle and Peggy Shaneyfelt celebrated their 80th wedding anniversary. However, I discovered another important accolade was left out. Just after we moved to Aurora, fellow left-hander Lyle organized and held the first Left-Handers’ Club coffee at a local café on Saturday morning. Unfortunately that club didn’t last for 80 years, but us left-handers continue to thrive.

Price tag isn't what determines value of gift PDF E-mail

I am not sure just how reliable statistics are, but politicians and pollsters seem to take stats seriously. A recent statistic about Father’s Day got national attention a week ago and, quite frankly, I would hope most fathers could have cared less.

National news media reported more money is spent on Mother’s Day than Father’s Day. My memory may be a little rusty on those recently published figures, but the “attention-getting” stats revealed Mother’s Day gifting averaged about $160-plus for mom while a gift for poor ol’ dad totaled “just” $140-plus.

I must be part of the old world because I never gave much thought if more money was spent on a mom’s gift over a gift for dad. In fact, since when did a price of a gift become a factor... unless it caused an overdraft of the bank account? It has become pretty “cheap” thinking when people are sizing up gifting by the dollar signs instead of the personal thoughts behind a gift.

As I look back over the years at my string of much appreciated Father’s Day gifts, many of those gifts are invaluable and I wouldn’t part with them for any amount of cash.

In my desk drawer are some tucked away cards, drawings and messages from when the boys were just learning how to print their names. We can even take a scan across our polished wood desktop and find a couple of highly valued gifts from Father’s Day past.

There’s a small, bright yellow, painted rock with the word “PaPERWaitE” etched across it in blue. On the right hand corner of the desk is a one pound Folgers coffee can wrapped in brown and gold string yarn. I must admit the yarn has become unraveled and now reveals a part of the Folgers brand name, but who cares. That Father’s Day gift will always grace that spot.

I would hope most fathers have cherished gifts such as those in their households or offices. I would also hope many mothers, too, have precious gifts given to them over the years by their offspring. Few, if any, of those moms and dads will ever part with those treasures. And I would also be willing to bet those same moms and dads are not going to consider whose gift cost more.
*  *  *

I made a comment recently to one of the sons that, at one time, I thought it might be nice to retire in Florida. He smiled and then said, “Oh, you want to be one of the many ‘Q-tips’ who live in Florida?”

I asked what he meant by a “Florida Q-tip.”

He then explained, “Old guys with white hair and wearing white shoes are referred to as ‘Q-tips.’”

I guess I made the right decision and can handle being ribbed as a “Cornhusker” instead of a “Q-tip.”

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