|Definition of ‘adjusted retired couples’ debated|
While I was scanning a daily newspaper the other morning, an article written by a family counselor caught my eye. The subject matter of the article covered the lifestyles of “adjusted” retired couples. I may have read between the lines a little bit, but it seemed most of the counselor’s comments were directed to the male household family member.
I wanted to make sure I was an “adjusted” member of those adjusted retired couples the author was talking about, so I continued reading. It became even more evident that if the goal of an adjusted retired couple was met, most of the “adjustments” had been made by the male spouse. Thus, my analysis indicated I had a lot of work to do and I better get going if I wanted to be a “well-adjusted” member of our household.
The article stressed when you retire and the wife is busy, both should share household duties at least a couple times a week. Now, the counselor-author wasn’t just talking about taking out the garbage. She was talking about those big chore duties such as cooking meals, cleaning windows and grocery shopping. Putting the newspaper aside, I decided I should test the betterhalf’s response to a couple of my ideas regarding chore duties.
I called to the betterhalf, who was in the other room and asked, “What do you think about me helping you in the kitchen prepare a few meals?”
That brought her into the room where I was sitting and I could tell by the puzzled look on her face she couldn’t believe what she just had heard coming from my lips. I also noticed the adjusted couple idea in a kitchen wasn’t going to be her cup of tea. She emphatically said, “I’m in charge in the kitchen and the only time I like to have you help in the kitchen is up at the Minnesota cabin where there is no automatic dishwasher.” Enough said.
I guess I’m back to my old duties of taking out the garbage on Thursday morning; cleaning the garage; running the snowblower; and doing minor home repairs.
And what about pursing that title of an “adjusted retired couple”? I would think being married for more than 54 years should qualify us as pretty “adjusted.”
Here are some excellent comments from a highly regarded teacher as she recently spoke before a large student audience. She said she reminded her students that in today’s world you can still be anything you want to be, but you have to prepare.
“You can achieve your dreams, but you must prepare for that achievement,” she added. She emphasized the road toward achievement can be challenging and cited, as an example, taking subjects such as chemistry in high school and college if you wanted to become a doctor. Her emphasis on preparation for achievement should not only be a message directed to students, but to serve us adults as well.
RL Furse is publisher emeritus of the News-Register